Year 1: I am terrified, I couldn’t barely sleep. My anxiety levels were through the roof. I would have night sweats and bad dreams, constantly. I tried to focus on the current day, not tomorrow or the next, just now.
Year 2: I felt that its possible I would have a future but I am still very skeptical. I do not like to speak about my story, so I hid away from it. Making each day more alarming. I am walking this alone. I am so scared, lonely, crying all the time. My sleepless night of insomnia, are more lonely. My girls keep growing and I can’t”t believe I am here to watch it.
Year 3: My feelings are starting to haunt me, I cry easily. I have a mild temper. I want my life back ,cancer muggles do not realize, how lucky they are. I want to run away from my fears and bury my emotions. I don’t think I can handle the pain and emotional roller coaster, I am going through.
Year 4: Each year gets a scarier, the scans, feel scarier because I get closer to that milestone. plus, they are not as frequent, making the scanxiety even worse. When I was getting scanned every month, I was used to it, now, feel like it’s my first one, every time.We all want so badly. I am praying, for the first time, in a long time. Please if I can make it, to five years…I’ll be safe. Won’t I? They say its the year you want to reach!! How long, will this go on?
Year 5: I MADE IT! I AM 5 YEARS CANCER FREE. THEY SAY THIS IS THE YEAR YOU WANT TO GET TO. THAT THE LIKELYHOOD YOUR CANCER, WILL RETURN IS LESS THAN 3%. I won’t ever be comfortable with that number. I will continue to stay diligent with my body. I want to fight for me and others. I want to share My Melanoma World.
YEAR 6: I am still struggling with sleep. My fibromyalgia hurts me, more and more everyday. I try so hard to be strong for myself, family and others but I can’t be all the time. I am not so inspirational, everyday, sometimes I cant adult. Cancer free life is still so hard. I celebrate the victories and learn from the battles.
Year 7: Here I am today! Still fighting the same story, but with another year upon my belt. I am so grateful for this year. I have really opened up and shared, everything. I am honest about everything, I share. I do not want to stop, I think I am helping people. It has become my passion to continue spreading melanoma awareness.
Year 8: coming soon. 1/24/22